The Crucibles that Cultivate Christlike Character

by Elizabeth Laing Thompson

I crossed the finish line, legs burning, lungs heaving, and found my dad in the crowd. He held up eight fingers with a sad smile, and my heart sank. I’d finished eighth out of all the girls on my cross-country team. One spot shy of top seven. One spot shy of a place on the postseason roster. My season was over.

At home that night, I wrestled with my body’s limits—and my heart. While I knew God empathized with my disappointment and grief, I also felt ungodly emotions roiling inside: envy, anger, resentment. Their claws sunk deep, scraping the joy out of running, staining my heart with selfish ambition. This struggle was one of the first tests of my recent commitment to discipleship: Would I do things my way or the Lord’s? Stay stuck, or invite Jesus to transform my character?

In John 15, Jesus invites us to a transformative relationship with Him, one that begins with obedient surrender and ends with lasting joy: “As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love” (vv. 9-10). In His love, Jesus commanded obedience through obstacles, trust through tempests… and He promised joy on the other side: “I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete” (v. 11). 

In those high school running days, God called me to choose love for others—joy for others—even when life and running weren’t going my way. Isn’t that how God works? He uses life circumstances—sports, work, family, finances, friendships, disappointments, victories—as crucibles to refine our characters and forge sincere discipleship. We step into those crucibles at work when we feel unseen or unappreciated. At home when feelings run hot and forgiveness is hard. At school when Jesus’ way is uncool and the world’s way feels easy.

In college, God put me back into the sports crucible, this time from the bleachers. I watched my then-boyfriend, Kevin, pace the sidelines as another quarterback took the starting position Kevin had worked so hard to earn. Kevin’s slumped shoulders radiated anguish; his clenched fists betrayed frustration. The heartache challenged our young discipleship in ways we hadn’t seen coming. Seeking God’s guidance, we turned to the biblical story of Joseph, the Israelite who remained righteous in spite of mistreatment. And we turned to Jesus, who chose forgiveness in spite of injustice.

Twenty-some years later, the sports crucible refined our discipleship yet again. This time we were a married couple, the parents of an aspiring college lacrosse player. Every step in Avery’s recruiting journey called for trust: Would we trust God’s goodness when the email from the coach didn’t come… or it came, but it said, “We’ve moved on”? Would we trust God’s wisdom when paths opened, but the paths were different than she’d expected? Again we sought Jesus’ example, His powerful words of surrender in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Not my will but yours be done.”

Time and again, God has used sports, especially the uncertainties and injustices inherent in competition, to call me and my family to deeper walks with Him. Maybe He’s used different crucibles in your life, but His end goal is the same: Meaningful discipleship. Not just praise-God-on-Sundays discipleship. Not just trusting-God-when-everything’s-going-my-way discipleship. The kind of discipleship that costs something. The kind where being like Jesus means denying our fleshly instincts. The kind where we fall to our knees, praying, “I want to follow your ways. I want to live by faith even when I can’t see—or don’t understand—your plan. I want to remain in you. Your will be done.”

In every situation, every crucible, God’s Word and Jesus’ example show us the way: The way to Christlike character. The way to transformative trust. The way to parent our children—and to allow God to parent us. And ultimately, the way to the joy Jesus promised to all who remain in Him. 

Elizabeth Laing Thompson is the author of many books for women and teens, including When God Says, “Wait,” All the Feels for Teens, and In Season: A 90-Day Devotional for Female Student Athletes to Build Faith, Strengthen Confidence, and Train a Growth Mindset (Zonderkidz, July14, 2026). Elizabeth writes at ElizabethLaingThompson.com about clinging to Christ through the chaos of daily life. As a speaker and novelist, Elizabeth loves finding humor in holiness and hope in heartache. When she’s not snort-laughing with her family, you’ll find her teaching barre classes or inhaling coffee while plotting her next book. More information can be found at lizzylife.com.