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Parenting in Exile


by Rachel Gilson


Once you start looking in the Bible for the reality of a discipleship that is costly but rewarding, you will find it all over the place. One helpful place in which to look is in the Old Testament book of Daniel.

 

The stories told in Daniel come at a painful time in the history of God’s people, the Israelites. Throughout many generations, the land they lived in had been an important symbol of their relationship with God. This was especially true of the city of Jerusalem, where the temple was built by King Solomon. But God had warned them for centuries, through various prophets, that if they continued to practice injustice and sin, He would banish them from that land as a punishment. He gave them so much time to repent, but they hardened their hearts. Finally, and horrifically, God sent foreign nations to conquer the land and drag the Israelites away. This is known as the Exile.


The book of Daniel follows some of these Israelites who were taken captive to Babylon as young men—probably when still teenagers. This land was totally unlike Jerusalem; instead of being surrounded by symbols of the true God, they were surrounded by idols. Even more, they were taken into service at the Babylonian court, given new Babylonian names, and taught the language, culture, and religion of Babylon. Everything around them was designed to turn them into Babylonians, pressuring them to leave the God of their ancestors behind.


In certain ways, our children’s story will be similar. I’m not trying to suggest that in the West today we’ve experienced a trauma like that of the fall of Jerusalem or forced removal from our homes. Nonetheless, as our children grow up with fewer and fewer people attending churches and professing faith, more of them will be like these Israelite youths. The secular West has its own myths, language, and literature. It has its own idols, its own demands for what people worship (whether self, progress, or whatever), and its own tactics for trying to force people to toe the line. All this and more is communicated through our movies, songs, advertisements, and social media. Secular culture exerts an incredible amount of pressure on adults and is incredibly formative for children. And especially in areas with fewer committed Christians, it can feel as if our children stand no chance. As I scan the parents in my local church, I realize that it is not uncommon for their children to be the only kid in their grade at school with believing parents—one of the only kids with church as a regular and meaningful part of life. It’s true at this point for my own child. Perhaps it’s true of your child too.

 

The experiences of Daniel and his three friends, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, show us what it can look like to cling to the Lord in a culture flowing in the other direction. More than that, it can show us what God’s care in the midst of such a culture can look like too. Our God is the same today as He was in those centuries ago; both we and our children can take comfort in how He is able to provide.

 

The Israelite youths at times faced sophisticated opposition. At one point, King Nebuchadnezzar erects a golden image and demands that everybody worship it. Soon enough, “certain Chaldeans came forward and maliciously accused the Jews” (Daniel 3:8). Knowing that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego would never worship this image, these certain Chaldeans (another term for Babylonians) present this to the king as a political threat, and he responds by enforcing capital punishment. This reminds us that the worship of idols always produces resistance and violence against those who refuse to bow.

 

Many people deeply believe in LGBT+ affirmation because they find it good, true, and beautiful. On a societal level, there is also a strong movement of political and cultural activists who demand that all people embrace LGBT+ affirmation in the ways that they themselves do. This movement is, in its own way, a kind of religion; it evangelizes, it seeks to bring others into alignment with its moral code, and it tries to punish those who are out of line. When anyone, including Christians, falls short of full LGBT+ affirmation, there are consequences. It is not unlike being an exiled Israelite refusing to bow to Chaldean idols.

 

But note, too, what Daniel 3 also says: it was not all the Chaldeans who used this tactic against the youths but only “certain” of them. Similarly, today it is not all supporters of the LGBT+ movement who aggressively oppose others. We can teach our children to expect that some organized opposition to God’s people will come, while also protecting them from the simplistic view that all who reject the Lord are actively out to attack us.

 

This nuanced reality can be seen in a later story, this time during the reign of King Darius. A group of officials maliciously accused Daniel of subverting Darius’ rule by his refusal to stop praying to the Lord (Daniel 6:7, 12-13). The prescribed punishment was death—by being thrown into a den of lions. But interestingly, this time, we see that Darius himself, a pagan, was distressed by this threat to Daniel’s life (v 14)—so distressed that he “spent the night fasting” (v 18). There was something about Daniel’s integrity which meant that although Daniel refused to follow Darius’ gods, Darius still desired good for Daniel.

 

In this we hear an echo of Jesus’ words: “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Indeed, when, the next morning, Daniel was lifted from the den alive—having been miraculously saved by the Lord—Darius issued a decree that his subjects were to “tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for he is the living God, enduring forever” (Daniel 6:26). As for Daniel, so for us: although some may be out to attack us, others will acknowledge the truth and goodness we live by.

 

So we can take courage from these Israelite exiles living among idolatry. We see that assimilation to idolatry is not automatic. The young men had every opportunity to believe and behave as Chaldeans—they were steeped in that culture while young. Yet God sustained them. He is powerful. He was able to shut the mouths of lions and keep the blazing furnace from even singeing the young men’s clothing. He is also worthy: Daniel and his friends were ready to risk so much only because they knew that God deserved their worship and total allegiance. One of my favorite moments in the entire book is when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego tell Nebuchadnezzar that God is quite able to save them from the furnace but also that even if God chooses not to save them, they still will not bow down to the idol (Daniel 3:17-18). Their allegiance to the Lord is based on God’s worthiness, not on what He will do for them. Targeted, unjust persecution did not break them. And it need not break our children either.

 

This is an adapted excerpt from Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World Discipling Our Kids with Jesus' Truth and Love by Rachel Gilson. This book helps parents to teach young children what the Bible says about sexuality proactively and positively in a culture with contrasting ideas and values.


Rachel serves on the leadership team of Theological Development and Culture with Cru. Her writing has appeared in Christianity Today, Desiring God and The Gospel Coalition, and she regularly speaks at churches and on college campuses. Rachel holds a Master of Divinity from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and is currently pursuing a PhD in public theology at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She lives in the Boston area with her husband and daughter.

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